Today I woke up and got ready for a job interview. It was for a company that is well known and reputable. I showered, got dressed and got in the car. When I got there I walked halfway from the car and the door of where the interview was, turned around and went home.
The reality of it is, this wasn’t a job I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. I didn’t feel like it would leave me feeling accomplished and satisfied at the end of each day. I felt anxiety, shortness of breath, an almost drowning feeling. It wasn’t because I was nervous or because I felt like this company would be a horrible place to work for, in fact it was the very opposite. It was a place that would provide security and a paycheck but what it wouldn’t provide was my happiness. I felt all these feelings of anxiety because I knew deep down if I accepted this position it would throw me off track and set me back more from where I really want to be in life.
So why do we accept jobs we don’t want? Probably the most common answer is money. Having bills to pay and responsibilities (the worst part of being an adult, am I right?) forces us into working jobs we don’t actually want. It forces us to put our dreams on the back burner and causes us to fear taking risks. We constantly look forward to the free time we have away from our jobs. Evenings and weekends become the only time we truly feel ourselves. It is a cycle that can last an entire lifetime and some people retire or worse die feeling this way. Okay, that sounds a little morbid but it’s also the truth.
I think a lot of job unhappiness stems from having to make such a big decision at such a young age. At 17 I was given forms to fill out to decide which College or University I wanted to apply to and which program I wanted to enroll in. Looking back at it now at 17 I couldn’t even decide if I wanted pizza or a sub for lunch. How was I expected to decide what career I wanted to pursue for the rest of my life?
As we get older I think we start to really figure out what our strengths and weaknesses are. The things that excite us and motivate us start to become more apparent. These are the things we need to run with and somehow manage a way to make them our career because if we don’t we are only letting ourselves down.
Reflecting on my decision today to not go to the interview I feel relief and a weight off my shoulders. I am going to take the time to write a list of things that are non-negotiable in my job search and also continue to work on my blog. We all have the power to take control of our lives and earn money doing what we love.